slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(via shouldnt)

Bro 1: bro let's get matching anchor tattoos

Bro 2: why bro?

Bro 1: so our broship doesn't float away

Bro 2: bro..